ohnoitsjools

Watching Hannah walk off with that teacher after she slept in Jools’ bed earlier that week (okay, so he slept in a chair with a sleeping bag, but that’s not the point) was nothing short of angering. Especially after he’d gone through the trouble of getting everything ready for them to go backpacking in India together.

He was really looking forward to that, too. He hadn’t gone away since after the fire, when he was sent off to the young offender’s institute.

Which made it all the more surprising when she came back twenty minutes later, asking when they were going to leave.

Jools had to take a moment to figure out what had just happened. It was clear, even to him, that something had gone horribly wrong with that teacher Hannah had been seeing, but this didn’t feel like the right time to ask.

Is there even such a thing as a “right time?”

But, hey! India! And with Hannah, no less! She said that they’d talk about “them” on the way to Heathrow, and then ran off to go meet Mrs Grayshot at Paul’s wedding. By this point, Jools had been so far up into the clouds that it didn’t even occur to him to ask why he hadn’t been invited.

While Hannah rushed off to go say goodbye to her mum, Jools made his way back home to get his things in order. Hannah said she’d meet him there, so all there was to do after he finished packing was to wait.

“Good news,” Jools said as he walked through the door. He carefully made his way down the short hall and into the kitchen, where Mum was fixing up something for supper.

“Well, what is it, then?” she asked impatiently.

Jools wrung his fingers together, watching as he stirred something on the stove. “I, uh, finally got a job, today,” he said proudly. “Delivering pizzas.”

Mum stood up sharply. “Delivering pizzas?” she demanded. “How?”

Jools shrugged. “On my moped.”

“Your moped?” Mum didn’t seem to believe him. “You’ve still got your L-plates. They gonna let you deliver pizzas with L-plates, are they?”

“Well... yeah,” Jools said, shrugging slightly. “He said that as long as I get the pizzas out, he doesn’t care how I do it.”

“He paying you?” Mum asked, her arms crossed over her chest.

“Yeah.”

“It full time, then?” she continued. “You’ll be out of the house?”

Jools nodded. “Yeah,” he repeated. “It’s a real job, just like you told me to get.”

Mum eyed him sceptically for a few moments before going back to her cooking. “Someone rang for you earlier,” she informed him. “Note’s by the phone.”

“Cheers,” Jools said as he made his way to the telephone. He found the note right where Mum had said it would be, and dialled the number, waiting patiently until someone finally answered.

“Hullo?” A man’s voice said from the other side.

“Hullo,” Jools repeated back. “Who’s this?”

There was a pause. “You rang me, you bloody wanker. Who’s this?”

“Oh, uh... it’s Jools,” he said, faltering. “Mum told me to ring this number.” He twisted the phone cord idly in his fingers, just knowing that he’d dialled the wrong number.

“Oh! Jools!” The man’s tone changed completely. “It’s Nick. I just got back from India last week.”

“Oh. I don’t think you can stay here, mate,” Jools said nervously. “Mum’s still mad at me for flooding the sink the other week.”

“No, I’m all set up,” Nick assured. “I figured, I’m back in town. Might as well have a drink with my mates. Everyone else is otherwise engaged tonight, so I figured I’d try you.”

Jools turned round suddenly, but when he noticed Mum had left the kitchen, he turned back to face the telephone, twisting himself up in the cord. “Oh, yeah,” he said excitedly. “We can go do the Dog and Duck. It’s just down the road from here.”

Nick began to respond, but Jools was distracted by Mum coming back into the kitchen. Spinning round, he begun to tell Mum that he’d be out for the night, but was taken off balance by the phone cord further tangling him up, and he fell to the ground, pulling the telephone clean out of the wall.

“Hullo? Nick? Nick?”

Mum heard the clatter, and spun round, a large wooden spoon in her hand. “Sebastian, what did you do now!?” she demanded.

Jools looked up to see Mum stomping toward him, brandishing a large, wooden spoon. “I’m going out tonight!” he said, frantically untangling himself from the telephone. “I’ll see you in the morning! Bye!”

Free of the telephone, he ran through the house, tripping over a rug on his way out the front door.


The Dog and Duck was a little more crowded than Jools had expected, and he almost missed Nick coming through the front door. Nick had changed a lot during the year he’d been away, gone back packing around India and Asia; his hair was longer, and he must have lost at least a stone. It wasn’t until he made it up to the bar that Jools actually recognised him.

“On. Nick!” he said excitedly.

Nick turned round, smiling when he saw Jools. “Hey, I hope you don’t mind, but Hannah’s gonna be coming out tonight, as well,” he said, putting his arm round Jools’ shoulders and leading him to a nearby table.

Jools looked up at Nick, and forgot to look where he was going, causing him to crash into a chair and spill half his drink. “Who’s that, then?” he asked as he tried to clean up the mess.

Nick hardly noticed Jools’ theatrics. “Girl I met in Mumbai,” he explained. “She and her friends were staying in the same hostel as Roland and I. She just lives down the road from you.”

Jools finally sat down in a seat that wasn’t covered in stout. “Oh? What’s she like then?”

Nick only smiled. “She’s a nude model at the college,” he said finally.

Jools swallowed. Hard. “Oh, yeah?”

“Oh, yes,” Nick said. “And a body like hers, it’s no wonder she was able to get the job so easily.”

“And I’m... gonna get to meet her tonight?”

Nick laughed. “Of course,” he said. “I told you she’s coming with tonight.”


Nick had been right; Hannah was indeed quite pretty, but apparently “coming with” had actually been code for “have a row over Hannah’s job, and then everybody go their separate ways for the night.”

Not wanting to go home right away and try to face down Mum’s wrath, Jools walked up and down the high street until finally coming to a chip shop that was still open. Pulling open the door, however, he stepped into that other pub that no one else seemed to have heard about.